One of the things I have been thinking about since yesterday is something Kelli said to me. (Kelli, if I don’t get it quite right feel free to correct me.) In essence, she said race day is the fun part, what matters is the work we do every day leading up to race day. That rang true for me. If it were not for the hours I put in over the past couple of years I would not even be at an event like Buster Britton, or even think about being there. She also reminded me to remember why I was doing this.
So, why am I doing this? I know it all looks crazy to some people who have known me for years. I began as a challenge, to prove to myself that I could do it. Now it is something I have to do. I am not talking about just the races. I’m talking about the day in day out 5 a.m. wake up alarms and 6 a.m. gym and pool workouts. Do I make it everyday? I try. Sometimes 6 a.m. turns into 6 p.m. because of my schedule. I find 6 a.m. better because it is what I need to get my day started along with my morning devotions. This season I am getting back to my routine, trying to remain healthy, and trying to improve. I was looking back at some goals I set at the beginning of the year and one was not to get injured and another was continuing healthy eating.
I continue to say that I just want to finish races. Is that all? Of course not. I want to improve my times and my level of performance. I have a couple of big long term goals. I will share them here eventually but right now I am only sharing them with a few people. One of the things I want to continue to be is a good example for other people. Part of that is remaining calm when things don’t go so well and remembering that there really are more important things in my life than one race. I try and I am not always perfect with that goal either.
The day to day is important though. I have not yet reached my weight loss goal. I try to remember that it is not just the number for my weight too but the number is important. I have a goal to get to that I set with Dr. Laubenthal probably a year ago now. I am finally feeling like I am getting laser focused on nutrition again. One thing that made me quite happy yesterday was that I did not turn to food out of frustration when I didn’t finish. It felt like a major victory for me and signaled that I have made a mental change and shift. This was part of my dinner last night:
Today I made lentil soup and am preparing for the week tonight. It goes much better when I do some food prep ahead of time. I have been carrying my lunch, which is a tremendous help to me.
Last night I was downloading photos from the weekend on my laptop. I had not downloaded any photos to that computer so everything from my camera loaded. It turned out to be a rather interesting review of the last year and a half or so. Last week my friend Ashley posed the question, “what are you grateful for?” In looking at the photos I would have to say quite a bit: a healthier life, family, old friends, new friends, and many good times. Life is very good.
I also love the way people overlap from different areas and times of my life. They inspire me. Elizabeth Rose, a wonderful storyteller and teacher who I met in Tennessee, is also a triathlete. She did a race in Kingsport, Tenn yesterday and it looks like she had a fantastic day. My childhood friend Jim Sprague did his first trail run yesterday. What I really love about looking at Jim’s current facebook updates is his profile photo of him running with his daughter. Allison Jeffreys amazes me as she continues to run during her pregnancy and placed at the Barrie Hirst 5k yesterday. My cousin Nancy, a cancer survivor, ran a sub-30 minute 5 k this week. I could keep going about the people who inspire me everyday.
The irony of the stress diary
Finally, a bit of humor I found in all of this. One of the classes I am taking this summer is stress management. The first assignment is to keep a stress diary for a week. The idea is to write down what stresses me, what I did about it and the level of stress I felt. I am suppose to do this on an hourly basis but try doing that as an administrator. I’ve been making entries but every time I write something down I think, “well, that is not really that stressful. it is just what I do.” I’ve been working on budgets this week and I have endless meetings. There were a few things that were somewhat stressful this week but nothing big when I really think about the week. Now I guess I can add panic in the open water as my biggest stress of the week. I survived it and I will be out there again.
I came across this quote, “Choices, not circumstances, determine your success.” unknown. Things happen but I make the choice in how I react and how I move forward. Like I said, life is very good and I am tremendously grateful for the people who surround me and support me.