Deep water: Facing my fears

This story ends well, just so you know up front.

Deep water
Sam and I went to the Aquatic Center for the first time today. We have been talking about doing this but just had not gotten over there. The 50 meter pool was set up for short course. (What I am learning – I know what he’s talking about when he says that now.) The Crimson Tide Aquatic team was still in the pool so where did we wind up -yes, the deep end of the pool where I freaked out at my last triathlon. I was already feeling traumatized because I was trying out my triathlon suit for the first time. Now I was sitting on the edge of the pool looking at an 18 foot deep lane. (Note that I saw 14 feet on the deck but Sam was happy to inform me that I was nearer 18 feet and in his old practice lane.)

Facing fear
I couldn’t sit there all day so I eventually got in. I panicked. The water was deep. I made it across and back though. I had a 200 warm up so I had to make it six more times. I think it was one of the longest warm ups in a long time but I finished it. I did almost throw up when I looked down and saw Sam on the bottom of the pool. I know I’ll be down there eventually…

Treading water
So we headed to the middle of the pool to tread water for 8 minutes. That is a long time. Oh,and by the way you might want to show me how to tread water before we go to the middle of the pool. Small detail! I made it though and I did realize that I won’t drown. Even if I go under I know how to come back up. We also did go underwater. Or Sam did and I tried. I couldn’t get underwater as far as I thought I would be able to – which just proved his point. I won’t sink to the bottom of the lake on Saturday. I felt myself starting to get over being so afraid a little bit. I was frustrated that I couldn’t get down to the ledge in the deep end that is maybe 5-6 feel below the surface. Progress!

Back to laps
We went back to laps and recording. I have a triathlon on Saturday so I was trying for my race pace. I made it – faster than what we predicted. I hope I can do that on Saturday. I just have to dig a little deeper.

Respect v Fear
By the end of the hour I was much calmer. I hadn’t drown. I didn’t sink. I made it back and forth across the deep water several times. I know Sam is not going to let me do something that will put me in a dangerous situation in the water. I don’t want to fear the water though. Respect for the water, for not putting myself in danger, for knowing what to do, and for my coach and what he has taught me will all help me get past the fear. He might even get me on the diving board or on the bottom of the pool to hang out. Well, he will. For this week, I just want to complete 400 yards around Double Oak Lake. I can do it.

About millie jackson

I am a librarian, a yoga teacher, a storyteller, an athlete.
This entry was posted in change, mental toughness, Sam, swimming, training, triathlon, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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